Positivity Creates…

Positive changes are happening. This past week I made a few decisions that I had mix emotions over. I decided to withdraw from study for the time being, go back to swimming and spend more time doing my art.

Deciding to leave university with half of a degree done was probably the harder decision that has been made, thinking I could defer for another year, didn’t work from the universities side of things, so I chose to leave for the time being and look to come back when I have more available time to dedicate to it. I did feel guilty for doing this, as I felt I was letting everyone down, and being seen as starting something and not finishing it. But like a few people I am close to say, you need to look after yourself before everyone else. I work approximately 8-11 hours a day up to 6 days a week and feel exhausted when I get home at night and have no brain cells left to take in more information and writing assignment and listening to lectures. I can say today (Monday) I feel comfortable with my decision and can see the positives in making the right decision.

Swimming, well it was a long time between swims for me, I know I really stopped swimming properly in March 2016 after attempting a marathon swim from Cottesloe Beach to Rottnest Island (19.7km) on the 27th February 2016, then with foot surgery only weeks after, I didn’t really go back properly until 3 weeks ago. To say I have missed it, is an understatement. I used to swim to satisfy an exercise addiction, and now I swim for the enjoyment and the goal to swim a duo to Rottnest in 2022. I have noticed just how much swimming affects me in such a positive manner, where the smallest things would emotionally disturb me, I am a lot more relaxed after swimming and even up to 4 days after a swim, before I notice a slight drop in tolerance levels to situations around me.

Art, this is where I come back to each and every time I leave it for something else that I feel is more important in my life at that time, like returning to study at end of February, and I stopped all my art work and spent that time studying. I guess I felt guilty for leaving my art behind and not being comfortable enough to know within myself this is really where I belong, drawing, painting and pottery. I love how I can put my music on and just while away the hours drawing, singing and just being.

I started with drawing this poppy. I love drawing poppies, as they are somewhat simple yet technically challenging to get the shading right for the depth and movement I am looking for.

My sketch of Dory, as I have gone back to swimming and my friends also know me as ‘dory’ (nickname) this was my inspiration to draw her, and even though she isn’t quite finished and probably a little out of proportion, I think she is cute.

This piece is still a work in progress, Cala Lillies. Again finding the process of shading interesting to get the right directions and depth in tone to have the picture show a more 3D effect than being flat.

I found sitting yesterday to draw the Cala Lillies was a wonderful way to spend part of my weekend relaxing and being creative. I had my ‘destress’ playlist (on Spotify) playing over and over. I guess I could see myself spending many a day just drawing or painting or even playing with my clay, and not having to work (day job) full time, a dream to hold and maybe, just maybe come true.

Wishing everyone a happy and safe Monday and week ahead.

Till next time…

2021 keeps giving!

So we are 2 months, 1 week and 1 day into another year and I have had my awareness shine very brightly to what, when, how and why!!!!

The past week has probably been one of the hardest emotionally to deal with. Starting Thursday night with a PTSD episode, many nights of not sleeping properly, an issue yesterday at work which required police attendance. Which I will say made for a long and tiring day once the adrenaline came down.

The best part other than starting university again, yep it’s the start of week 3 and I am behind already…oh well I will sort that out tomorrow.

I managed to buy myself some new bathers, goggles and cap, and find deep within myself some determination to take myself for a swim at my favourite pool.

University Brain Dump

It’s been 5 years, 2 weeks and 1 day since I last did any swimming. On the 27th Feb 2016 I attempted the Rottnest Channel Swim solo (19.7km). Unfortunately that day didn’t end the way I had dreamed of or planned. Instead I made it to 15.5km and had to stop, due to hypothermia. Once I got to the island my core temperature had dropped to 34 degrees Celsius, while my training partner finished. I have every year since thought about getting back into the water, but just put everything else as a priority.

Following The Line

Up until Saturday night I was positive I would not go back to swimming, until someone I know said my name had come up in conversation at this years event with one of the crews that I knew and had previously crewed for.

So today was the day. No Garmin attached to analyse my pace, distance or anything else. It was just a matter of getting in and seeing what my very unfit body could remember and do. I was heading for the 50m turn and thought ‘can I still remember how to tumble turn?’ Well the big happy answer is yes, the next 50m I was smiling all the way while swimming. I stopped at the shallow end and did a little ‘happy dance’ as I still had form with technique and tumble turning, it was now a matter of slowly building fitness again.

The most important part of being back in the water was to see if the negative noise started in my head. Another big happy smile…not one bit of negativity!!

Going forward I will return to a squad session once a week that is close to home on a Monday night which allows the needed time for uni work, and A big incentive to get the study done as well.

Will I try and make it across the Rottnest Channel Swim again? Not as a solo attempt, but as a duo with my previous training partner and great friend plus one of the best crews I could ask for!

Quokka

Well it’s my weekend and it’s a very happy one, tomorrow holds a day of study…yep playing catch up and writing an assignment, and funnily enough it’s about incentives and emotions (psychology unit) so at least I have some personal aspect that I can use as well as the required theory understanding.

I wish everyone a wonderful week that is ahead of us all. Till next time, be well and be safe.